He starts beeping the horn”Valerie, your date’s outside””Tell him I’ll be down right away””This guy’s got a car he must be a classy guy””She’s not gonna take the bus today”
She puts her makeup on like icing on a birthday cake
And size five spandex without saying”Ouch!”
She kisses her mom goodnight
Gee, I guess she really cares
As Dad waves”bye” from the plastic-covered couch
White Trash Date
He’s all revved up and ready to go, got a bottle of booze and a Budweiser six pack
Cruising his Impala down the L.I.E. with Bruce Springsteen playing on the eight-track
Louie is the type of guy who goes in style – he really knows how to treat his dates
And he can afford to go first class, ’cause the Kew Motor Inn’s got hourly rates”Which room you wanna get?””How about the ‘Santa Fe’ the one with the sun painted over your head?””Yeah, that one’s pretty cool, but I’d rather get the Techno-Love
The one with closed-circuit and the vibrating bed”
He’s gotta pay up front, preventing them from”date & dash”
Then they head upstairs to play
They gotta hurry up three hours ain’t a lot of time
And the time is ticking away
White Trash Date
Time expired and they got thrown out, without enough time to finish their beer”I really hate the manager at this joint! I think he is a freaking queer!”
Fuzzy dice spinning all over the place as he’s pulling out of the parking lot
He’s got the pedal to the metal and he’s tearing it up – he’s gonna prove just what he’s got
Roadblock up ahead”What do we do?
We’re gonna get busted if we get stopped”Don’t worry about it, Uncle Eddie’s a cop
I’ll give him a call and the charges’ll get dropped”
Breathalyzer taken, alcohol level exceeds
The level for which driving skills are impaired
Unluckily for you, Uncle Eddie got busted
A week ago by Internal Affairs
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